How to get 13yr chi...
 
Notifications
Clear all

How to get 13yr child to be more aware

7 Posts
5 Users
7 Likes
106 Views
Daisy
(@daisy)
Posts: 13
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

My daughter is doing really well at school in the sense she has full comprehension of the subject material in all her subjects. She is very capable.....however her issue that we are working on is about her being more aware of what is required or other happenings in school.
For example she often misses homework simply because she is unaware of it. Maybe the teacher just verbally said it at the end of class and my daughter didn't hear it or register it.
A good example is the other day she returned and told me an indepth recount of a story the class read together. Not only did she tell me the story but also her own opinion and thoughts about it. She clearly have total comprehension and engagement with this story.
The next day she was crestfallen that she had not 'got the memo' that she was supposed to read the rest of it as homework.
So she is engaged with the material, but just lacks awareness of what is extra in school - homework, special assemblies, sports or other fixtures. We hit the same problem over and over where she was just unaware choir was meeting at lunchtime or that this homework had to be done or that Friday was a special assembly etc

Much of the homework is listed on the online school portal and this is then fine for her. It's just the other stuff that goes on around her that just goes over her head.  She often wonders how other kids just 'seem to know' what is going on.

Does anyone have any suggestions?  😥 

 
Posted : 16/11/2022 9:02 am
SarahJayne
(@sarahjayne)
Posts: 18
Eminent Member
 

Hi Daisy, sounds like your daughter is doing great and understanding all the class material in her subjects.
Children are great at walking around in their one little worlds. I always think it's us adults trying to pierce the bubble and get them to deal with 'reality'. Pay attention! Focus! Concentrate!
Is your dd an artist type child?  Often the more creative children hold on to their 'bubbles' a bit longer than the more cerebral....lucky them!

It's probably frustrating for you and maybe even teachers have said something (?), but she is still young and clearly it isn't infringing upon her comprehension of the lessons which is the main thing.

I think you have hit the nail on the head by saying its a lack of awareness.  The beauty of getting to the route problem is you can then address it and practice solutions in areas that are not about school.  Often it's better to use other areas in life to solve a problem rather than driving at the 'hot topic' area (this works for all ages and all problems!)
Maybe encourage more awareness at home for example?  Does she have any chores or responsibilities?  By adding something small in an innocuous area she can learn skills that will eventually carry over into the areas that are a problem (school).
For example at age 13 she could perhaps prepare her own meal or for siblings at some point? Or feed pets? Maybe go to a store alone with a small shopping list?  It really depends on the specifics of your life, but by adding a small responsibility that will require awareness she gets to flex those muscles!

Good luck Daisy!

 

Don't let school get in the way of your child's education!

 
Posted : 16/11/2022 11:54 am
LondonCalling and Daisy reacted
oaky
 oaky
(@oaky)
Posts: 11
Eminent Member
 

Bit off topic but was does 'dd' mean?....In your post Daisy

 
Posted : 17/11/2022 6:22 am
Daisy
(@daisy)
Posts: 13
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

Posted by: @oaky

Bit off topic but was does 'dd' mean?....In your post Daisy

Dd means Dear Daughter. Its a shorthand way of typing about family members....ds, dw, dh....dear son, dear wife, dear husband.

I hadn't really thought about it. I picked it up when using Mumsnet a few years ago

 

 
Posted : 18/11/2022 5:54 am
Daisy
(@daisy)
Posts: 13
Eminent Member
Topic starter
 

Posted by: @sarahjayne

Hi Daisy, sounds like your daughter is doing great and understanding all the class material in her subjects.
Children are great at walking around in their one little worlds. I always think it's us adults trying to pierce the bubble and get them to deal with 'reality'. Pay attention! Focus! Concentrate!
Is your dd an artist type child?  Often the more creative children hold on to their 'bubbles' a bit longer than the more cerebral....lucky them!

It's probably frustrating for you and maybe even teachers have said something (?), but she is still young and clearly it isn't infringing upon her comprehension of the lessons which is the main thing.

I think you have hit the nail on the head by saying its a lack of awareness.  The beauty of getting to the route problem is you can then address it and practice solutions in areas that are not about school.  Often it's better to use other areas in life to solve a problem rather than driving at the 'hot topic' area (this works for all ages and all problems!)
Maybe encourage more awareness at home for example?  Does she have any chores or responsibilities?  By adding something small in an innocuous area she can learn skills that will eventually carry over into the areas that are a problem (school).
For example at age 13 she could perhaps prepare her own meal or for siblings at some point? Or feed pets? Maybe go to a store alone with a small shopping list?  It really depends on the specifics of your life, but by adding a small responsibility that will require awareness she gets to flex those muscles!

Good luck Daisy!

 

Thanks for taking the time to reply with such good advice. Your reply made me smile when you asked if dd was an artsy type! She is absolutely the artist! Always sketching, painting, doing digital art....non stop!

It's true she doesn't have many responsibilities around the house. I feel guilty that she has such a long day out at school. The school bus arrives at 6:30 and she doesn't return until 5. 

We have decided to try 2 solutions. The first is to use alarms on her phone to prompt various times at home. Up until now it's me who ushers her along in the morning. Now she has little alarms set for....need to start getting dressed, need to get out into the kitchen etc. Secondly one morning a week she is doing the morning routine completely by herself. Get up, make a packed breakfast, prepare everything she needs and wait for the school bus. On this day I  heading out for an early walk so I'm out of the house and not on hand to intervene with my Mum ways 🙂

It worked very well yesterday... although she did forget her water bottle. I'm sure that will help her remember it next week!

Thanks again for the advice. I'm loving being able to head out early for exercise once during the midweek! I'm more loving that dd can practice being more aware about her life around her without me on her back to Pay Attention! Lol

 

 

 

 

 

 
Posted : 18/11/2022 6:05 am
LondonCalling
(@londoncalling)
Posts: 4
Active Member
 

I put a chalkboard by the front door and there are always 3 things for each of my children to do. Simple chores like feed the cat, empty the bin, wash up the cups etc.  They are only age 7 and 11 but I think it's really important they learn it is their duty to help out in the house.
Sometimes I ask them to think of a chore and write it up on the board.  When the chore is done they draw a line through it or tick it off. At the end of the day the board is wiped clean ready for a new day and there is lots of 'well done' and 'thank you's' all round.

 
Posted : 26/11/2022 12:22 pm
Coach Steve
(@coach-steve)
Posts: 1
New Member
 

Hi, My name is Steve and I have only just joined this group today so apologies if I have missed the boat somewhat. This is not something new in teenages and I do have expierence in doing workshops about understanding the transitional stage of physical and psychological development. 

Without going into great detail I am happy to share 3 tried and tested solutions to your initial question which was 'Does anyone have any suggestions?' 😥 

1) Color Coding: Assign different colors for different types of activities or assignments. For example, use one color for homework, another for sports or extracurricular activities, and another for special events. This visual aid can make it easier for her to recognize different tasks at a glance.

2) Positive Reinforcement: When she successfully remembers and completes assignments or attends events, provide positive reinforcement to motivate her to stay engaged with her responsibilities.

3) Use a Planner or Calendar or Journal: Encourage your daughter to use a physical planner or a digital calendar to keep track of her assignments, homework, and school events. Make it a daily habit for her to record important dates and tasks. I have seen great resullts from people who took up writting a journal. 

Developing awareness and organization skills can take time, It's important to create an environment where she feels comfortable asking for help or clarification when needed.

Hope this is useful to anyone reading. 

 
Posted : 19/10/2023 6:56 pm